My thoughts as i flip my car into peace
Today i told my mom that every time i go out driving a small part of me wishes the car would flip over and id just die, go out like a candle in a wind storm. No more pain no more worry no more hate for this world or myself. No more wading in self-esteem issues, and just no more giving a fuck about whether i have friends or not or if girls like me or not or if i like myself or not. Just one moment where its just me in a car and BOOM i flip and i know im fucked so i just let it all go, even if im only at peace for a nano-second, at least i could say that i was at peace. While the demons drag me to hell i could say, i finally fucking found what id spent 18 years trying to find. no more watching my friends destroy themselves, no more guilt, all of it just vanishes in that one final nano-second while my car flips through the air, and whatever im listening to on the radio is playing
I told my mom this, and then she took away my car keys, and told me i was done driving for a while….